Thursday, April 22, 2010
"Fun" Tidbits
9:00 PM | Posted by
Mireille |
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The thing about loosing your baby is:
1) every day you wonder what you'd be doing if she was here and what she would look like
2) your body doesn't care whether or not your baby is here, it wakes up like clock work at night (every 2 hours at first and subsequently less but then it's the nightmares and reality that do it)
3) you look for signs that your baby is with you everywhere and want to believe in them
4) you get bitter when people minimize your loss or don't want to understand the magnitude of the event
5) your relationship with people changes
6) you hate that you can't go to baby showers for people who have always been there for you
7) everything seems trivial and you hate that you don't care as much as you used to
9) nothing makes sense and the world seems really unfair
And finally:
10) you loose a big part of yourself too
I can probably fill that list with 1000 more things, but these are just some of the things I've been dealing with lately.
I should mention that, when you loose your baby you find out who your real friends are and learn to be grateful for these people. My little Angel Adelle has brought me to some great people and tomorrow I am excited that I will meet (in person) an Angel Mommy of 12 years who's been a great support for me lately on my hardest days.
1) every day you wonder what you'd be doing if she was here and what she would look like
2) your body doesn't care whether or not your baby is here, it wakes up like clock work at night (every 2 hours at first and subsequently less but then it's the nightmares and reality that do it)
3) you look for signs that your baby is with you everywhere and want to believe in them
4) you get bitter when people minimize your loss or don't want to understand the magnitude of the event
5) your relationship with people changes
6) you hate that you can't go to baby showers for people who have always been there for you
7) everything seems trivial and you hate that you don't care as much as you used to
9) nothing makes sense and the world seems really unfair
10) you loose a big part of yourself too
I can probably fill that list with 1000 more things, but these are just some of the things I've been dealing with lately.
I should mention that, when you loose your baby you find out who your real friends are and learn to be grateful for these people. My little Angel Adelle has brought me to some great people and tomorrow I am excited that I will meet (in person) an Angel Mommy of 12 years who's been a great support for me lately on my hardest days.
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About Me
- Mireille
- On November 6th, 2009, I gave birth to our angel Adelle at 34 weeks. She had already grown her wings... I am going through a difficult time and am learning a lot about myself and what it means to be the mommy of an Angel. I hope that by sharing my experiences, other angels' moms will find some comfort in knowing they are not alone. I am married to the most wonderful man on Earth. I am blessed with the most precious family and friends. My heart will always be full of love for my Angel Baby Adelle.
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5 comments:
I'm so sad that you have such a long list of tidbits and I send hugs and lots of love for each one you run into, whether it ever makes a list or not. But I know that for me, your #5 meant a change in our relationship that has meant a whole lot to me. I wish it could have been under better circumstances but I'm grateful for the magic of that one tiny little angel. I can only hope that all of that mist that still covers so much in your world reveals even more to you as it lifts. xoxo
I'm with you 100% on all those "fun" tidbits, I've gone through and am still going through them all. So glad that you are going to be meeting someone who is helping you through this. I met one of my biggest supporters a couple of months ago and it's like we've known eachother for years.
Stacy
You just described all my emotions to a T, and you're right, 1000 more could be added.
SueG2H
Thank you for posting this...I can understand every one of your tidbits...especially #6.
Good luck with your meeting!! So proud of you...
Mireille,
Reading your eloquent, honest, heartful words is truly inspirational. I know that nothing can be said that would even make sense, as "i'm so sorry" just isn't enough. As I read your posts about becoming an Angel practictioner, I realized I had tears streaming down my face. You having that gift, doesn't surprise me in the least-you've always had such a love and peace within in your heart...May the Creator be with you always, holding you close.
Mel
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