Adelle - Our Angel Baby

The thing about loosing your baby is:

1) every day you wonder what you'd be doing if she was here and what she would look like
2) your body doesn't care whether or not your baby is here, it wakes up like clock work at night (every 2     hours at first and subsequently less but then it's the nightmares and reality that do it) 
3) you look for signs that your baby is with you everywhere and want to believe in them
4) you get bitter when people minimize your loss or don't want to understand the magnitude of the event
5) your relationship with people changes
6) you hate that you can't go to baby showers for people who have always been there for you
7) everything seems trivial and you hate that you don't care as much as you used to
9) nothing makes sense and the world seems really unfair

And finally:
     10) you loose a big part of yourself too

I can probably fill that list with 1000 more things, but these are just some of the things I've been dealing with lately.

I should mention that, when you loose your baby you find out who your real friends are and learn to be grateful for these people.  My little Angel Adelle has brought me to some great people and tomorrow I am excited that I will meet (in person) an Angel Mommy of 12 years who's been a great support for me lately on my hardest days.