Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Believing
10:00 PM | Posted by
Mireille |
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I've been tip-toeing around a subject because I feared that you, dear reader, or anyone else for that matter might judge me to be crazy. I have read recently that some life events occur that open your heart like a flower. Once the petals are open, the flower is ready to receive, in this case, faith or belief. I am not sure why we have to explain ourselves when it come to this.... Tonight, after having dinner and a nice conversation with some dear friends (the JC ladies will know who they are), I have been supported and encouraged to share my thoughts. You see... I believe in angels. I always have, but now even more than before.
Sometimes, although very rarely, I feel closer to Adelle now than when I was carrying her. It's difficult to explain and the feeling is so fragile. One wrong thought and the sentiment floats away like the parachute-like seeds of a dandelion. To believe is a lot harder than not believing. The latter takes no effort at all. But you see, I have to hold on to something and that something is invisible. I can't see her, hear her or touch her... but when I let her, she lets me know she's here - I can feel her presence.
Like I said, it's difficult to explain because in the same breath I would give everything to gently squeeze her toes, tickle her tiny belly and kiss her forehead. I walk by an empty nursery countless times a day and try to picture her sleeping in the bed that was chosen just for her in a room that her daddy worked so hard on perfecting. So eventhough she is close, she is still so far away.
You may not believe in angels and that's ok. As for me I do not doubt that Adelle is an angel. Throughout this difficult time, I have learned to believe in other "angels"... people like you who have supported us, shared experiences and have prayed for us.
“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.” - Stuart Chase
Sometimes, although very rarely, I feel closer to Adelle now than when I was carrying her. It's difficult to explain and the feeling is so fragile. One wrong thought and the sentiment floats away like the parachute-like seeds of a dandelion. To believe is a lot harder than not believing. The latter takes no effort at all. But you see, I have to hold on to something and that something is invisible. I can't see her, hear her or touch her... but when I let her, she lets me know she's here - I can feel her presence.
Like I said, it's difficult to explain because in the same breath I would give everything to gently squeeze her toes, tickle her tiny belly and kiss her forehead. I walk by an empty nursery countless times a day and try to picture her sleeping in the bed that was chosen just for her in a room that her daddy worked so hard on perfecting. So eventhough she is close, she is still so far away.
You may not believe in angels and that's ok. As for me I do not doubt that Adelle is an angel. Throughout this difficult time, I have learned to believe in other "angels"... people like you who have supported us, shared experiences and have prayed for us.
“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.” - Stuart Chase
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About Me
- Mireille
- On November 6th, 2009, I gave birth to our angel Adelle at 34 weeks. She had already grown her wings... I am going through a difficult time and am learning a lot about myself and what it means to be the mommy of an Angel. I hope that by sharing my experiences, other angels' moms will find some comfort in knowing they are not alone. I am married to the most wonderful man on Earth. I am blessed with the most precious family and friends. My heart will always be full of love for my Angel Baby Adelle.
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1 comments:
I think I mentioned this the other night on twitter, but if not, I completely agree with this. I was never one to NOT believe in angels, I'd just never had experiences wtih them. but then my mum passed away in 2007 and I lost my baby in 2008 and there have been times, when I've needed help, or whatever reason, or just comfort, that for some unexplained reason, I feel them, it's almost like I can hear them saying "it's going to be ok".....i may never have gotten to be a mother buy my mum got to be the grandmother she always wanted
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